Friday, June 17, 2005

Friday Random Ten - "Dangerous Menu Items" Edition

The Electric Mayhem Friday Random Ten, out of 288 tracks:

1. Vince Guaraldi Trio - Peanuts Theme
2. Michael Franti & Spearhead - Crazy Crazy Crazy
3. Muse - Time Is Running Out
4. Anne Heaton - Your Heart
5. The Beatles - The Ballad of John & Yoko
6. Parliament-Funkadelic - Mothership Connection
7. Keith Jarrett Trio - Five Brothers
8. Guess Who - No Sugar Tonight
9. Talking Heads - Burning Down The House
10. The Puffins - Bad Boys From Leningrad

(By the way: Anne Heaton is really good. The Puffins are...odd, but mostly good. Check 'em out.)

I'm really getting into Patton Oswalt lately. His bits can seem a little random at times, and his comic book nerd tendencies pop out every once in a while - the man pines for a wine bottle with Dr. Doom on the label - but it's part of his charm. He does one bit that just kills me every time I hear it. I become completely useless: my eyes water, I can't catch my breath, and I have to hold on to the counter in order to stay upright. He talks about Black Angus, a steakhouse I have never been to, and how their ads have gotten really scary:

Black Angus Announcer: (threatening voice) At Black Angus, we'll start you off with an appetizer platter featuring five jumbo deep-fried gulf shrimp, served on a disc of salted butter, with fifteen of our potato bacon bombs, and a big bowl of pork cracklins, with our cheese and butter dippin' sauce.
Patton: Oh hey, we're all gonna split that.
Black Angus Announcer: YOU'LL EACH GET YOUR OWN!

I think it's funny because, even though they're apparently trying to kill their customers, it sounds like just the restaurant that Jago could fall in love with. Except for the seafood.


Jago said...

BESIDES the fact that steakhouses will usually go to the top of my dining list regardless, I will let Devin generalize in this case. (Usually, there's a half-hearted petulant attempt to deny the fact that all I ever eat is beef, chicken and potatoes. It's not entirely true, but there's a reason stereotypes exist.)

In any case, any restaurant that's passively (or, in Patton's view, actively) trying to kill me? Sign me up for a meal there.

As long as it's in a steakhouse...

Sylvana said...

That is SO FUNNY! I was laughing out loud. I haven't seen Patton's comedy act. I just know him as the irritating little asswipe on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.