Monday, July 26, 2004

Engage the cloaking device!

The other day I saw something that frustrated me, so I gave it some time to stew and see if it was still bothersome. And it is. To start off: sorry if I offend, but it's more social commentary than it is "Gee, that guy was a moron!" Well, you'll see what I mean.

So this guy comes on the bus the other day, fully decked out in what I can only assume is "cool street garb". He's got the blue and white basketball jersey, the jeans hanging well below his ass, the white velcro sneakers (and if the Velcro isn't enough of an eye-roller, they were UNDONE), the left pant leg was tucked into his white socks, and a white baseball cap that was just perfectly askew. To clarify: when I use the adjective "white" in the previous description, I mean "blindingly bleached white". There was no dirt on this guy at all. It's like he emerged from the dryer fully formed. He paced the LRT station constantly tugging at his clothes, and walking with the swagger typically seen on people who have lost all feeling in their left leg.

And he was talking ebonics like it was his first language. He had the depressed tongue position, the slurred Ss, and the grammar construction. Picking up the phone: "Yo!... Who dis?... Who dis?... Whuddup, dawg?..." And the only thing I'm thinking is: where the hell did you learn all this? The mean streets of Edmonton? I don't think so. The only things I could think of were either:

a) He had grown up in a very big 'hood in the states and had moved to Edmonton, in which case: dude, what the hell are you doing in EDMONTON?.
b) He had learned this from music videos, in which case: dude, you seriously need to get a life.

I wasn't dismissing the lifestyle out of hand, but this is the first and only person to date that I have seen walking around this city, dressing, talking, and behaving like that. What community of urban youths does he belong to? Do they even exist? And if so, where are they? Is there a secret Homeboy Hideaway in Edmonton I'm unaware of? Come to think of it, that'd be pretty neat: streetwise youths with cloaking technology. It's like hip-hop Star Trek.

No comments: