Sunday, September 24, 2006

In which The Ninja and I discuss Jet Li and Classic Sitcoms

Ninja: I think Morgoid and I are going to try to see Jet Li's Fearless tonight.
Me: You hear he's giving up action movies? He doesn't like how every martial arts movie he's in is about revenge.
Ninja: Perhaps he should make his own, play to his strengths, instead.
Me: I thought it was an admirable choice; from what I can tell, it was about how revenge wasn't something he personally believed in and wanted to condone, so he's not going to do them any more.
Ninja: That's cool, but what else are you going to make a martial arts movie about?
Me: Maybe he could do martial arts movies where he uses his abilities to impress and amaze while on great adventures, and not specifically to gain revenge. Like Indiana Jones, but with kicking.
Ninja: Ooh, that's good. Treasure hunting would be a good one. What about a Cannonball Run movie, but with kicking?
Me: I haven't seen Cannonball Run.
Ninja: Um... Gilligan's Island, but with kicking?
Me: I hated the only episode of Gilligan's Island I've ever seen.
Ninja: The Mary Tyler Moore Show, but with kicking Ed Asner?
Me: Do you mean Mary would kick Ed Asner, or that Ed Asner would be doing a buttload of kicking?
Ninja: E
ither way.
Me: Okay, then I'd pick number two.
Ninja: That would be the worst arcade fighting game ever
Me: Capcom vs. Nick At Nite?
Ninja: Mary... Lou... Round one... FIGHT!
Me: Her fatality is whining so hard that her opponents' heads explode.

1 comment:

Sylvana said...

If he can't find any other reason to use martial arts, and he hates the whole revenge thing, and he has devoted so much of his life to martial arts, I feel sorry for him.