I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, 'cause ducks ain't s'posed to be downtown. There's nothin' for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, "Let me have a bun." But she wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So I said, "Alright, well, put some lettuce on it," which she did. She said, "That'll be $1.75." I said, "It's for a duck." And they said, "All right, well, that is free." See, I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Let me have the Steak Fajita Sub - but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!"
- Mitch Hedberg
Monday, April 04, 2005
Obit: Mitch Hedberg
One of the "famous people" who died this past week was a relatively unknown comedian named Mitch Hedberg. He wasn't the spiritual leader for over millions of people, or a woman who sparked national debate, or an infamous lawyer with celebrity defendants. He was just a guy who made me laugh, and his death has been overshadowed by those other three, probably understandably so. But I wanted to put one of his jokes here in tribute, to let people know about a really funny guy they wouldn't have known about before.