Sunday, November 06, 2005

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

About five months ago I became a big fan of comedian Patton Oswalt. The bit that killed me every time (and still does) was a tirade about how the commercials for Black Angus had become, as Patton would say "a threatening gauntlet of angry food." The whole bit is screamingly funny, but I always destroy myself on the last part:

Black Angus Announcer: Then we'll wheel out our 52-oz. Los Mesa He-Man Steak Slab, served with a deep-fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops, and fifty-three of our Potato-Bacon-Bombs!
Patton: There's no way I'm gonna be able to eat all of th--
Black Angus Announcer: And then bend over, Lula-Mae, because here comes the gravy pipe!

This kept me in stitches for months, and being a good pop culture evangelist, I performed it for a lot of other people, most of whom also became fans. I don't think he'll ever come up here, but if he does, I know about ten or twenty people who would probably go. The man is a living fountain of pure comedy.

Now, most of the people who know me know that I have a fairly good-sized collection of novelty t-shirts. It's something I'll likely have to give up when I become a "grownup" (whenever that is), but for now it keeps me - and a number of other people - amused. I've got a few band t-shirts, a couple from the incomparable ("It's dot com!"), and my all-time favourite from Questionable Content that Peach gave to me on my birthday this year: "Music + Science = Sexy". (A truer formula you will not find.)

Anyhow, I was thinking that the phrase "Here Comes The Gravy Pipe" would be an excellent slogan to have on a t-shirt. I pictured myself strutting down the street in a brown shirt with that phrase in bright yellow letters. People wouldn't know what the hell the shirt meant, but I just couldn't get that image out of my mind.

So, what does this have to do with what Scotty got for me? Observe:

Watch out people. A large, happy man may be strutting down a street near you.


Nezbitt said...

I don't know that I've ever seen you as excited as when we gave you that shirt.


And it looks teh awesome!

Mikester said...

Absolutely fantastic.

Shannon said...

If I saw you wearing that shirt on the street, I'd want to stop you to ask what it was all about (never having heard the bit) but probably be laughing too hard and possibly afraid it had a sexual connotation to get the words out.

That's one kick ass gift!

Jeans said...

oh. No child?
heh heh

I've never heard the bit either, but Scotty, kudos for a nice sexually charged and inside joke Tshirt.
Great color scheme.
Nice font.

I'll be lookin' out for ya!


The Doc said...


Mike: Thanks for the comment, and for stopping by.

Shannon: I've had a number of girls at school ask me if it was a sex thing. Truthfully, I never thought it had any sexual connotations until I wore it.

Jeans: Nope, no baby. Although if that were the case, both Scott and I would have a lot of 'splainin to do.

Nursikins said...

I think I nearly ran off the road when you told me that joke, didn't I?

Love the shirt!! :)

ORF said...

Doc, you should create a Doc blog fanclub and when people get inducted in, they'd have to buy one of those t-shirts. Or you could forgo the fanclubbing altogether and just have a bunch of those made and we can all buy one and create a new weird blogger meme!!!

The Doc said...

Nursikins: I'd like to proudly claim that my comedic monologues have never yet been the official cause of a traffic accident.

ORF: I don't think I'm of sufficient stature for a fanclub, but I do like the deal of the Gravy Pipe Army, or GPA, marching briskly down the street...