Wearing my heart on my sleeve

About five months ago I became a big fan of comedian Patton Oswalt. The bit that killed me every time (and still does) was a tirade about how the commercials for Black Angus had become, as Patton would say "a threatening gauntlet of angry food." The whole bit is screamingly funny, but I always destroy myself on the last part:

Black Angus Announcer: Then we'll wheel out our 52-oz. Los Mesa He-Man Steak Slab, served with a deep-fried pumpkin stuffed with buttered scallops, and fifty-three of our Potato-Bacon-Bombs!
Patton: There's no way I'm gonna be able to eat all of th--
Black Angus Announcer: And then bend over, Lula-Mae, because here comes the gravy pipe!

This kept me in stitches for months, and being a good pop culture evangelist, I performed it for a lot of other people, most of whom also became fans. I don't think he'll ever come up here, but if he does, I know about ten or twenty people who would probably go. The man is a living fountain of pure comedy.

Now, most of the people who know me know that I have a fairly good-sized collection of novelty t-shirts. It's something I'll likely have to give up when I become a "grownup" (whenever that is), but for now it keeps me - and a number of other people - amused. I've got a few band t-shirts, a couple from the incomparable Homestsarrunner.net ("It's dot com!"), and my all-time favourite from Questionable Content that Peach gave to me on my birthday this year: "Music + Science = Sexy". (A truer formula you will not find.)

Anyhow, I was thinking that the phrase "Here Comes The Gravy Pipe" would be an excellent slogan to have on a t-shirt. I pictured myself strutting down the street in a brown shirt with that phrase in bright yellow letters. People wouldn't know what the hell the shirt meant, but I just couldn't get that image out of my mind.

So, what does this have to do with what Scotty got for me? Observe:



Watch out people. A large, happy man may be strutting down a street near you.