Monday, January 26, 2009

Pop Quiz

When one's significant other mentions in a casual moment of conversation that he or she is thinking of becoming a vegetarian, do you:
a) stare shocked into his or her face and say nothing for a long time?
b) nod your head understandingly and begin a sensible dialogue?
c) become bombarded by images of dozens of your favourite meat-based meals flash through your head?
d) become filled with remorse that you realize that you may never have any of those delicious meals again?
e) a, c, and d?

If you answered anything except e), you are a better person than I am.

13 comments:

Jago said...

At least you didn't go with f) Yell "YOU AR NOT MY WIFE!" at the top of your lungs.

Let's face it, I'm not married, but that would have been my option if I was present.

Jo-Jo said...

Yeah I would have done all those things and also laughed because I wouldn't believe him.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

You should have suggested a happy medium - lacto-ovo-pescetarianism. That's when you will drink milk products, eat eggs, and all seafood but no other meat. Maybe if you are even reluctant with that, go with no-red-meat to start and ease into the vegan lifestyle that way. It's hard to get enough protein when you're not carnivorous, though. It's not my ideal way of existing-I like variety in my protein sources.

I won't judge you for your reaction. It was understandably human. :)

Diego said...

But I will!

Oh, boo-hoo. You may never have meat again for the rest of your life.

Except, of course, that you can, because your significant other being a vegetarian doesn't force you to do anything.

And I'm actually speaking from experience, Dev.

PS. My word verification is "derand". I am deranding you for your reaction.

artistflop said...

Well, if she decides to go vegetarian, it just means you have to learn how to cook smaller portions!

The Doc said...

Is that before or after you flip the table in outrage, Jago?

Jo, I think laughing in The Peach's face would have been EVEN WORSE.

Mrs. L, that's actually what she's thinking of doing. Getting rid of cheese and shrimp would probably just depress her.

Ah, Diego. I do realize that I will still be able to eat meat; I was using hyperbole for (questionably) humorous effect. But I do think that her decision would indeed impact me if it comes to pass.

Flop, why would that be? I'd still be making meals for the two of us, after all. Please explan?

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Yeah, I think I'd cry if I had to give up cheese forever. That's what makes grilled sandwiches tasty!

the Worst Ninja Ever said...

I think what Flop means is that you'll be cooking only for her, and then, once she's gone to bed, you will cook a delicious, delicious steak just for you. With as much bacon as your arteries can handle. And since you are a very large man, much larger than me, and I know how much bacon I can eat, that's a whole lot of bacon indeed, sire. A metric fuckload, one might venture to say.

And I do. Metric fuckload.

The Morgan said...

Hee hee!

I can picture your face as images of ribs and steaks are dancing in your head.

Ryan's got a great veggie butter chicken recipe if you want it. ;)

artistflop said...

Well, Doc, when it comes to drastic diet changes, I'm of the everyone for themself bent. If she wants to go veggie, more power to her, she can make what she wants to eat, and you can make what you want to eat. That said, I'm not expecting that you would actually do that, because that would be vindictive....

The Doc said...

Ninja, please have some decorum. I prefer "assload".

I think I might take you up on that recipe, Morgoid, just because I don't know how you make a vegetarian chicken.

And Flop, that wouldn't be vindictive. Unless I kept saying, "Oh GOD, I love MEAT SO MUCH" with every bite. Which would be too creepy even for me.

Jago said...

I'd try to flip over the table, but my meat-eating ways would make me pause for breath halfway through.

sideshow bob said...

I agree with Mrs. L - just cut out the red meat (except one those occasions you can sneak it in). That's pretty much how I roll.